Catholics Forgetting the Importance of the Funeral Mass

When I read the obituaries of a parishioner in the daily newspaper, four of the saddest words I often see are, “No service by request.” They sadden me because a Church funeral service is a very important and powerfully healing recognition of affection and esteem, honor, and farewell that we offer at the time of death. It is a public recognition that a life is no more, that a man or woman has left this world, leaving behind friends and family and requiring us all to stop and reflect on our deepest values and highest truths. The most important obligation we have to our deceased loved ones is to pray for them. There is no greater prayer than the Mass itself. The Church’s Mass of Christian Burial (Funeral Mass) is offered for the repose of the soul of the deceased. By way of the Mass we are united with all the Christian faithful – here and in heaven – in commending the souls of the faithful departed to God. For Catholics, a funeral Mass is the most beautiful expression of faith and the truest statement of God’s love for one of his children. We offer the Mass because it is the most perfect prayer – the renewal of Christ’s offering of himself to the Father for the salvation of all men and women. In that moment, we offer it for this person – this man, this woman – who has left this world in the hope of everlasting happiness. Family, friends, and the Church (through the priest) lift up the person’s entire life to God, asking him to have mercy, to heal, to strengthen, to purify, and to reward the one whom we’ve loved. For a last time, this person’s body is brought before the altar, veiled in a pall of snowy whiteness, while we honor the remains of one whose voice and laughter have gone still.

More often than ever before, practicing Catholics are not having funeral Masses. This is a great loss and mistake. In some instances, it is because the family are no longer practicing the faith and do not understand why they should “sit through” something they do not understand or value. Sometimes people are afraid that a funeral will be too sad, as if unexpressed grief were somehow healthier. In some cases, final wishes may have been left unclear or unexpressed. This is tragic.

The Church wants to reach out to all her children, and practicing Catholics should understand their funeral Mass is a final witness to their own faith, the final seal on their life and dying, and perhaps an opportunity of grace and healing for family members. “Celebrations of Life” are not enough; they may come later, but they are no substitute. Telling funny stories is no substitute for doing the right thing. We often say funerals are for the living, but that is not quite true either. Our funeral Mass is offered for the repose (rest) and healing of the person who has died. It is “our duty and our salvation,” as the eucharistic prayer says.

Our Lord said, “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Mourning is the public expression of grief. That is why we need a funeral Mass. Many people have come back to faith because of a funeral. Others have converted because of one. It is there that we hear the words: “May the angels lead you into paradise; may the martyrs come to welcome you and take you to the holy city, the new and eternal Jerusalem.”

Those are the words we should want to hear for ourselves, and desire that our families may hear them on our behalf.

Planning Your Funeral Mass Ahead: Pre-Planning Your Catholic Funeral: Many US Catholics are choosing to pre-plan their funeral as an act of love for their family. Pre-planning allows you to choose your Scripture readings, hymns, pallbearers, and even your casket and burial site ahead of time, sparing your loved ones the burden of making these decisions while grieving. Again, planning a Catholic funeral for a loved one—or making arrangements for yourself—is an act of faith and charity. The Church offers a beautiful and complete vision of Christian death, one filled with hope in the resurrection. For US Catholics, understanding the Catholic funeral planning process can bring great peace during a difficult time. This Holy Family Catholic Community Funeral guide walks through every step, from the moment of death to the burial and beyond. The Church does not view death as an end but as a passage. The Catechism teaches that “death is the end of our earthly pilgrimage” (CCC 1013), but for those who die in Christ, it is the beginning of eternal life. The Catholic funeral liturgy reflects this profound hope. The funeral rites are not merely about mourning—they are about commending the deceased to God’s mercy, praying for their soul, and comforting the grieving with the promise of the resurrection.

When planning a Catholic funeral in the United States, it is helpful to remember that the funeral is first and foremost an act of worship. The Church offers the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for the repose of the soul, and the funeral becomes a powerful intercession for the deceased and a source of grace for the living.

There are occasions when a Catholic person dies before they share with family members or friends their wishes concerning a funeral and burial. In such a case, the person may be buried without a Catholic funeral or even before the parish knows of the death. In order that family, friends and your parish church understand your wishes in regard to the Funeral Rites of the Catholic Church, please prayerfully consider the information and questions provided in this form by Holy Family Catholic Community. A parish representative will be happy to meet with you and any family members to explain the Rites and the choices that are available in planning the liturgies. “At the death of a Christian, whose life of faith was begun in the waters of baptism and strengthened at the Eucharistic table, the Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end nor does it break the bonds forged in life.

I love you ALL and God bless, Fr. John

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To live the Great Commandment
Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart,
with all your soul, and with all your mind.’  And
‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
Matthew 22: 37-38